How to Order A Chris Christie Sandwich And Eat It, Too

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Written by Joy Ma

The Chris Christie Sandwich is a beast. But you can’t order one from Jenner’s diner right away. Because you’re not ready.

aNewDomain SkewedNews — At Jenner’s, a small diner in Red Bank, New Jersey, you can order a number of items on the menu, but you can’t start with the Chris Christie. Though it’s the most-popular sandwich by far, customers cannot order it as their first meal.

“You have to order something else on the menu first, and not something small,” says Wilmet Brian, the owner of Jenner’s. “You need to order and eat a full meal before you can order the Chris Christie.”

When you’re done the waitress returns to see if you’ve eaten everything and, once that’s confirmed, you can order the Chris Christie.

This strict rule applies to everyone, unless you’re the governor himself.

“Mr. Christie already comes in here stuffed, so he can go straight to his eponymous sandwich. He doesn’t always, though. Sometimes he’ll eat first,” said Brian.

What Is The Chris Christie sandwich?

Well, no two are exactly alike. Each is hand-crafted between midnight and 2 a.m. in frantic desperation. The kitchen is kept dark and the chef is lit only by the refrigerator light. The sandwich is assembled right there with the chef crouching over the fridge — usually in his underwear — with the door wide open. The chef typically rifles through the fridge, slamming the produce bin in search of cheese slices to eat while he’s making the sandwich.

“The Chris Christie is anything that you can get your hands on and put between two pieces of bread,” said Brian. “If there’s no bread, waffles will do, or corn muffins, really anything goes. They all have mayo, though.”

The sandwich could go national if Christie runs (figuratively) for president.

“He’s really, really great,” said Brian.

For aNewDomain’s upcoming SkewedNews, I’m Dino Londis.

First image: Wikimedia Commons