Man Toys: What I Wish You’d Buy Me — But With Your Millions, Please

Written by David Street

For Father’s Day or another holiday, forget the stupid tie I want man toys — a personal sub. And payback for that college education I paid for. — You know and I know that I will end up with a dumb movie, a chocolate sundae and a Jerry Garcia tie — nothing against Jerry Garcia — for a holiday like Father’s Day.

Nothing against ties, movies or ice, either. But you know what I want? I want a boy toy. I mean a man toy, ahem.

I’m talking a hovercraft. A personal sub. A floating floating BBQ pit (Yacht). I know these things are luxuries and cost millions — some don’t carry price tags at all, and you know what they say about having to ask.

But if it were my kid and you sold your dumb little app company to Google or something — hey, it could happen, kid — here’s what I want. Buy one or two of these before I’m dead, please. It’s a small price considering my bio-gift to you and, probably, for your college education.

Let’s start with the water jetpack. It’s called the Jetovator. It’s a water propelled and air-borne water stunt bike. It would make me proud to call you my son — I’d scream your name as I zipped around on this thing. Find pricing details in the videos. I really do want one.

The Jetovater Water Powered Stunt Bike

Video Source: Jetavition1 YouTube Channel

The Seabreache
This is a shark-shaped personal stunt craft that lets you submerge — a few feet — race, dive, flip. I want one. Don’t tell me it’s dorky because I don’t care. I want one. Check it out.

Video: Carjam Radio

The Jetlev Water Jet Pack
The latest Jetlev 2013 jet pack models include Rotax engine flatforms, improved thrust and what the company calls an easy-ride pilot seat. Starting at $67,000, but I want the high-end model. I’ll try it out at a resort first, though. I think I’ll need a certification for this. Here’s the paperwork for that.

Video source: DevinSuperTramp

Universal Hovercraft Winged and unWinged

This is an older model, but I’d be happy with the Tandem Wing Hovercraft from Universal circa 2009. Really happy. Then again, I especially like the red one.

Video: UniversalHovercraftVideos is cofounded by David Street, Gina Smith, John C. Dvorak and Jerry Pournelle — plus a team of the best tech and science journalists and IT pros in the world. Email Gina at and follow her @ginasmith888 or @realGinaSmith

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