aNewDomain — There are a ton of apps for those who really do want a more interconnected world where everyone constantly shares experiences and builds relationships. But what about those of us who don’t want to connect all the time?
Some of us don’t even like people at all. If you just want everybody to leave you alone, an anti-social app might be perfect.
I reviewed a few of them below. Check them out.
The Noise App for Android/iOS
Hate your neighbors? No problem. Here’s an app for the cranky old man in all of us. The Noise App for Android and Apple iOS allows you to tattle on your noisy neighbors quickly and effectively.
If those darn kids are making too much noise again, record audio of their raucous partying and send it to your service provider to aid police investigations. The app lets you create a whole diary of noise and track the progress of your reports, so you can track repeat offenders and plot their comeuppance.
If your neighbors find out, they’ll think you’re a snitch. But you are a snitch. Who cares what people think? You have a right to your peace and quiet, dammit.
If it makes people chat with you a little less at the grocery store, it’s a win-win situation as far as you’re concerned. In fact, it’d be great if you just never had to see your neighbors at all.
Grab the Noise App for Android at Google Play and get the iOS version at the App Store.
Time To Split for Android/iOS
Want to avoid certain specific people? Time To Split for Android and iOS is what you need.
Just select whomever you want to avoid and the app scans the area for his or her social media activity, alerting you whenever he or she is nearby. That way you can map a quick escape route.
The app also marks the places your enemy hangs out as “danger zones.” It also lets you know who they’re spending time with, just in case you want to avoid them, too.
For those who actually go out sometimes, the app will send you an alert if you and your nemesis are both planning to attend the same event.
You can even warn your friends of your enemy’s presence … you know, if you have any friends.
But actually, wouldn’t it be even better if you just never had to see anyone at all?
Get it Time To Split for iOS here and for Android here.
Avoid Humans (web app)
Avoid Humans is for you if you’re non-discriminating and just want to avoid all people everywhere — or, at least, as many as you can. This web app uses Foursquare and Instagram check-ins to see how many people are in any given place.
Each area displays a green, yellow or red rating: green for lightly populated areas, yellow for semi-crowded spots and red for horribly packed places. Of course, the app’s reliance on social media checkins makes it more useful for avoiding the younger generation than geriatrics, so beware — you may run into some people while using Avoid Humans.
But even when you’ve managed to keep your face-to-face interaction to a bare minimum, people are still always popping up on social media to bother you saying, “What are you doing?” or, “We never hear from you anymore” and “Have you even left your house in the last month?”
If only social media weren’t so addictive, we’d never have to even see such annoying questions from people who, annoyingly, just want to know if we’re even alive.
Anti-Social (Windows, Mac)
Anti-Social was created to block distracting websites like Facebook and Twitter, ostensibly to make you more productive or whatever. But we recluses know that the app’s true value lies in its power to limit our social interactions.
Let’s face it — when you’re sitting at home with the window shades drawn, it can be tempting to check social media even when you hate people. No longer. The $15 app can block any website you choose, and it’s difficult to turn off (so it’s harder to cheat and use Instagram anyway).
Besides, if anyone complains that you haven’t been responding to his or her Facebook messages, you can just tell them you’ve been using Anti-Social to avoid distractions.
Really. It works every time.
For aNewDomain and BreakingModern, I’m Alison Maney.
Ed: The original version of this article ran on aNewDomain’s BreakingModern. Read it here.
All screenshots: by Alison Maney
