Ten Things Not to Say at an IT Meeting

Here are 10 things you can never say at an IT meeting — or shouldn’t, anyway.

1. Wow, I just had the most amazing dream!”
Dreaming is a part of any career, but there is no excusing dozing during meetings. It’s pretty frightening after an accidental catnap. When you wake up you don’t know who knows!

2. OK, who’s gonna finish the last bagel?
Yes, IT managers want employees who are hungry, but it’s more in the realm of being ambitious and solution oriented, not trying to fill up on carbs.

3. I didn’t get an agenda. I never get an agenda.
There’s probably a reason for that.

4. Honestly the bagel was just sitting there.
Until quite recently companies have resisted going green. Insisting on eating the last bagel may seem to prevent waste and demonstrate and an insistence to go green at all levels, but many interpret that as you being unfocused. Just take the bagel.

5. Did you get any of that?
THat there are no dumb questions is just a cliché to get someone to ask a question. There are dumb questions, and asking, “did you get that?” is one.

6. Are you kidding with that blouse?

When you’re staring at your smart phone it should be at least appear it’s for something more important, like a triple-play.

8. What’s the purpose of this meeting?
Try to at least maintain the illusion you have a clue.

9. What’s a 5 letter word for released?

10.Hey, this was supposed to end at 1 sharp.
It takes real courage to say the obvious. You’re speaking up for every little guy in the room who is thinking the same thing. You’ll need that courage when you look for a new job.