Donald Trump To Star In New Version Of “Moby-Dick” [exclusive!]

Written by Tom Ewing

Donald Trump will star as Captain Ahab in a Trump Movie Classics version of Moby-Dick, sources say. Here’s the skinny.

aNewDomain — It’s official. Donald Trump will play the irascible Captain Ahab in a Trump Movie Classics release of Herman Melville’s Moby-Dick.

Trump Moby-DickA source within the Trump campaign reveals that Trump’s presidential run has been little more than a publicity stunt to promote the forthcoming film.

“Do you think anyone who really wanted to win the presidency would intentionally piss off huge sections of the American public like that?” said the source, apparently referring to Trump’s recent comments denigrating Mexican-American immigrants.

Another source within the Weinstein Company said the fallout from Trump’s remark may have sped up the production schedule of Moby-Dick.

“Once the Trump organization lost Macy’s, they were willing to pay top dollar for the rights to film anything, frankly. Moby-Dick is just the beginning. They also are considering a feature-length film of ‘Who’s the Boss‘ with Trump playing the Tony Danza character,” said the Weinstein Company source.

Donald Trump Movie Classics has reportedly signed award-winning director Pedro Almodóvar to direct the film, which will have a screen play written by novelist Jay McInerney.

The supporting cast reportedly includes Denzel Washington, Tom Hanks, Rosie O’Donnell, and Zac Efron.

Our film critic Cole Smithey has described the Trump production as the film equivalent of the 1960s flop “Screaming Lord Sutch and Heavy Friends.” “Trump’s hired one of the best directors of his generation, a fantastic writer, and an incredible supporting cast, but like Lord Sutch, the whole thing is going to hinge on the talent of the front man, and I’m just not sure it’s there,” Smithey said, adding that, “Of course, Trump made an impression on the Indie film circuit with ‘You’ve Been Trumped.’ ”

You can’t buy experience like that.

Sources report that Trump’s “Moby-Dick” will debut the week before the Republican National Convention in Cleveland in July 2016. Talk about great timing!

For aNewDomain, I’m Tom Ewing.

Photo Credits:

Moby-Dick Poster: Composed of “Moby dick434” via Wikipedia and “Donald Trump March 2015” by Michael Vadon –, licensed under CC BY-SA 2.0 via Wikimedia Commons.

Moby-Dick still: Composed of “Donald Trump announcing latest David Blaine feat” by David ShankboneDavid Shankbone, licensed under CC BY-SA 3.0 via Wikimedia Commons and Gregory Peck from Moby-Dick (1956 film).