File 86: Our Top 10 Rejected Stories This Month

Pope Ground Zero interfaith service nyt
Written by Tony DiGerolamo

Holy Sh*t. The Pope Uses Congress’ Men’ Room

aNewDomain/SKEWEDNews — It’s been a big month around here at aNewDomain. We dug deep and discovered some inconsistencies in the Ashley Madison stories, explored fundamental attribution and we’re breaking new viewership records almost daily. All that popularity has writers excited and trying too hard to find a story where maybe there isn’t one.  Here are the top ten rejected stories for the month of September.

Pope Francis Implores Congress to Take in Immigrants, Especially Sweet Young Boyspope ground zero interfaith service nyc sept 25 2015 pope francis

Pontiff Vows to Take as Many Boys as Possible

Rumors of a Destiny’s Child Reunion Tour Causes Stampede in Mecca

Mohammed Would’ve Been Huge Beyonce Fan

ISIS Suicide Bomber Dressed as Woman Gets Several Free Drinks Before Killing Himself

Cellphone number was apparently tied to bomb

Benjamin Netanyahu Accuses His Reflection of Anti-Semitism

Demands that all Palestinians destroy their mirrors or face missile barrage

Donald Trump Insists Dome Should Be Built Over U.S.

Scientists insist their won’t be enough air

Holy Sh*t. The Pope Uses Congress’ Mens Room

Congressman who took Pope’s water considered this prize too.

Pizza Rat Asks Media to Respect the Privacy of His Littermouse

Relentless paparazzi have nearly destroyed subway rodent’s life

Martin Shkreli Buys World’s Supply of Puppies

All unsold $10,000 puppies to be euthanized by Friday

Volkswagon Promises Next Line of Cars Will be Better at Fooling Pollution TestsVW-Logo

CEO promises shareholders more deceitful practices in the future

 

Chris Christie Vows to Eat Vladamir Putin if Elected

Might eat the rest of Russian cabinet if he’s still hungry

 

 

For aNewDomain, I’m Tony DiGerolamo.