Humor Politics Satire Skewed

Donald Trump’s Therapist: “Please, Please Take Trump Seriously!”

Donald Trump therapist
Written by Tony DiGerolamo

Tony DiGerolamo of SkewedNews reports that Donald Trump’s primary therapist is publicly begging the press to take Donald Trump’s presidential bid seriously. But look at the Taj Mahal Casino. It’s so clearly a cry for help.

aNewDomain/Skewed News — Atlantic City, New Jersey: Dr. Raymond Flinkst, a New Jersey therapist that claims to see several high profile clients including Donald Trump, held a press conference today to beg voters to take the presidential candidate more seriously.

“Normally, an event such as this press conference would be unthinkable for someone in my profession to talk to or about a patient,” said Flinkst, reading from a prepared statement. “But this is my attempt to reach Donald and help him cope with the reality he has, for too long, denied.”

Donald Trump Taj Mahal CassinoIn a 40-minute statement, Flinkst went on to explain that Trump suffers from a new mental disorder he calls “Hyper Megalomania Narcissism;” a condition where a patient suffers from an overly inflated ego, sense of self-importance and delusions of grandeur. Flinkst pointed to the Taj Mahal Casino (formerly Trump’s Taj Mahal) with it’s “gaudy facade” and “ridiculously high price tag” as not just an ugly building, but an early cry for help.

“Donald thinks he can actually be president,” Flinkst said. “But we all know it can’t happen. After dropping out of the race in 2012, he ended up calling me to his limo, crying while eating several dozen To’ak chocolate bars, the most expensive chocolate bar in the world. I said to him: ‘No amount of money can mask your pain, Donald. Embrace your feelings and rise above.'”

Several reporters attending the press conference attempted to ask questions at this point, but Flinkst refused to take them. He did go on to admit that his methods of treatment were “necessarily unorthodox,” but that he’d been forced to take unusual measures in order to reach the Donald in his sessions.

“I’m calling on the American voters to take the Trump CampaignTM seriously so that Donald’s policies can be revealed to him for the nonsense we all know they are. Without this wake up call, Mr. Trump is likely to continue to live in his fantasy world of raping Latinos, making schoolyard foreign policy decisions and insisting that his haircuts are worth the $500 he pays for them. I urge the American voter to step up and to help this sick man.”

Donald TrumpThe Trump CampaignTM issued a statement immediately following the press conference denouncing Flinkst as a “quack” and a “cut-rate shrink unfit to treat boardwalk rickshaw drivers.”

For aNewDomain and SkewedNews, I’m Tony DiGerolamo.

Image of the Trump Taj Mahal Casino: Trump Taj Mahal and Chairman Tower” by B64 at en.wikipedia. Licensed under CC BY-SA 3.0 via Wikimedia Commons.

Donald Trump in tuxedo: DonaldTrumpFeb09” by Michele Sandberg. Licensed under CC BY-SA 3.0 via Wikimedia Commons.
Donald Trump campaign image: CNN.com, All Rights Reserved.

About the author

Tony DiGerolamo

  • alrui

    Sure as hell woudnt use Flinkst as my therapist, the guy just gave all therapists a slap in the face by disclosing ANYTHING about ANY patient if in fact Trump even is associated with the POS! Besides that Trump is HANDS DOWN the best candidate running thus far! VOTE FOR TRUMP IF YOU CARE ABOUT YOUR COUNTRY!

    • Adam

      It was satire.

      But Trump is obviously the worst candidate running. If you can’t see that, it isn’t surprising you wouldn’t understand satire.

  • Derek Thomas Lirio

    This is all a lie. Therapists can’t disclose the things he spoke about, if they were true. He’s obviously a plant, sent out to lessen Trump’s credibility.

  • Dmember

    Everybody knows Donald Trump is mentally ill. It’s obvious.